A radio talk show host talks about people who use slurs

[Paul Leslie]

This is not about Barack Obama's political views. It is about the way people who disagree with his stances sometimes refer to him for being a Black man. It has caused me to do a lot of thinking.

Since Obama began his run for the Presidency, I have noticed something. It has brought out something in certain people that was remaining dormant. I am not asking you to agree with Obama. No two people can agree on everything all of the time.

When it appeared he was a serious contender, individuals I never expected began to make disparaging remarks NOT about his stances but about his heritage and background. When people began making derogatory comments, up to and including racial slurs—I just ignored it. I have ignored it for some time now, because I didn't feel it was worth challenging someone on it. I figure if you are that upset by a man of African ancestry running for President, there is nothing that I, Paul Edward Lifestyles-Leslie can do to change your mind.

I will explain. Not everyone who disagrees with Obama is a racist. I am not saying that at all. However, if your only criticism of him involves a racial slur, than I am sorry to have to be the one to break this to you—you have resentment and bigotry that you need to address. It will be like a cancer that will eat away at you. It will hurt you more than it will ever hurt anyone else.

When people have used these slurs, it bothered me a little bit more each and every time I heard it. The fact of the matter is that the idea of someone being strictly one race is absurd. There is no way of knowing whatsoever if you have ancestry of strictly one continent in your genetic make-up. How could you ever know?

I have seen photographs of my biological grandmother. She had one of the darkest complexions. We don't know where that comes from, but it showed up in my oldest sister, one of my aunts and her son. So was she white? Was she black or Native American? Either way it has no relevance to the worth of her offspring.

It caused me to really reflect why it is increasingly upsetting to hear people using divisive and hurtful words. Some of you that know me well, know about my nephew Kaleb. Kaleb's father is Black. I thought about it, and I realized if you are using that word to describe President Obama, then you would also have no problem applying that word to my nephew. One word should never be used to judge an entire population of people.

Silence is no longer golden. The next time someone makes a crack like that, I am going to say, "Please don't say that." If they question me on it, I will tell them that they are insulting and only hurting and embarrassing themselves. If you have a problem with Obama's position on the dairy industry—by all means, say so. Just calling him a name instead of debating the issues makes you look like a stupid-ass.

Upon personal thought, I have come to the conclusion that if that is how you feel—that you can use one slur to condemn a man, than you are condemning a whole race. If you have bigotry towards one race, you cannot completely love any race, including your own. If you have hatred in your heart towards one race, you must hate Humanity as a whole. Because as Dr. Maya Angelou recently told me, the people in every community in the world have the same desires and the same Humanness. It's true. Which brings me to the final conclusion. If you have to use racial slurs to judge another person's character—in essence, you hate yourself.

Paul Leslie, on the Time After Island Time show. This January check out our in-depth interview with Dr. Maya Angelou.

[Mary Anne]

I LOVE this discussion! It is long overdue. More of us should have been talking about getting rid of racism more often over the decades - as part of the healing process during integration.

Barack Obama and I are the same age. We were born the year that Kennedy was inaugerated. Had the laws been followed as they were intended in 1954, he and I should both be too young to remember segregation at all - but I know that I am not. I am unsure what Barack's experience was as a child. I was a white girl in the American South....

An elderly African American teacher from my high school taught me something really important: we are all essentially racist because of our culture. The best thing we can do is be ANTI-racist. She explained to me that this means you must be willing to hear about the pain you (even unintentionally) inflict on others with thoughtless words - and be willing to change those words in honor of everyone's humanity. Calmly and with love - be willing to hear it. And heal it.

As the years went by, it seemed that racism was going away more and more all of the time. The current younger generation openly dates and marries interracially - when it was a huge scandal for us in the earlier years.

Then in 2008 - Barack Obama ran for president! Some of this country's reaction to him made me realize that we have NOT done enough of the work of healing racism as the time has passed. We have made some progress but some of us have swept it under the carpet.

Well, now, the carpet is getting a good shaking! Barack is shaking it! The dirt is coming out and blowing around everywhere. The dust in our eyes seems horrible, but - we now are being offered another opportunity to heal this part of our country's horrible history. We need to be super active about this - ALL of us.

An aside: How I got here - Harry Belafonte's site. Why I love Harry Belafonte - to begin with, Harry is the singer of my favorite childhood song. I even grew up by the seashore in Texas. Years later, as an acute care nurse, I used the song to help people to remember my name, in case they needed me for anything. Most people know the song (especially older patients) AND I did work a lot of shifts - both day and night shifts.

This love of mine for Harry matured, however, when I watched the Smother's Brothers DVD of his appearances on that show - which I barely remember from when it was on prime time. (Barack and I were 7 years old in 1968.) I never realized how very deep Harry was...and what a BEAUTIFUL man he is! WOW.

I also realized how little some things have changed in 40 years. We have more technology and our life expectancy is better, but we have not grown as much from the inside. The late Neil Postman warned us about this in his 1992 book, "Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology." If we do not wake up, we will become numb-minded zombies driven by corporate policies and algorithms. These kinds of systems claim to improve efficiency - and often do - but they can also be used to maintain an old worn out (sometimes racist) status quo.... We will lose our most precious asset: Our humanity. We need continual consciousness raising.

Barack's presidential victory gives hope like never seen before. This new presidential administration is our window of opportunity for real Change for future generations.

At 7 years old, I remember 1968 being full of angry grow ups doing crazy things. Lots of ugly words - like the grown ups on Charlie Brown - but on crack. It was the year that "God died," according to some of the hand made signage that I saw. (I even wondered where they were going to bury Him.) An African American man would never have been considered a serious contender for the presidential race in 1968, so we HAVE made some progress. We have many challenges ahead but there is so much hope all over the lining of the clouds.

Happy New Year to ALL!!! 2009 will be an exciting year for the Land of the Free and the Home of the (very) Brave!

With love and peace to everyone from - All Day All Night Mary Anne....

[Paul Leslie]

Dear Mary Anne Vincent,
Thank you so much for your comment. I too found out about The Gathering for Justice through the Belafonte connection. I have gotten mail from listeners of all ages who are in love with Harry because of not only what a handsome man he is but also because he is a great performer.
I love his music, but to me his pugnacity in standing up for his beliefs is what I admire the most. He has never taken the safe way out.
"All Day All Night Mary Anne"?...wow you really do love Calypso. That's from the late great Lord Invader. Some may think that Calypso music and social issues did not have messages of civil rights and social justice. Simply not true. You would like the song, "God Made Us All," also from Lord Invader.

[Mary Anne]

Hello Paul Leslie!

I do love Calypso and many of the other Caribbean sounds - and it appears that there certainly is a lot I could learn from YOU! I will definitely check out Lord Invader.

I am a musician...and love all kinds of music. Not an expert - I just play for fun. My childhood influences were usually older big band musicians who were my school teachers in early years and a gaggle of street musicians playing jazz in New Orleans. I enjoy the whole gammut - from classical to country to calypso - to Arabic and Chinese music - and more - and I think that music is so powerful.

I think that music can bring world peace.

Harry is certainly a really handsome man - but when I said he was beautiful - I meant that he is a really beautiful person - beyond his appearance. I agree that he is a great performer and certainly he is a sensitive and brave soul. I just love him!

Music is powerful and healing. It is a communication means that gets beyond language...and culture barriers. One strong example for me is when I lived in a really poor neighborhood many years ago - as a racial minority - in a house that was split into apartments. I was on the first floor and this single-parent dad and his teenaged daughter lived above me. He would often come home from work and beat her - and I would hear the screams and cries. Calling the police did not help at all...so one day I put on some Louis Armstrong - full blast. I double dared him to keep hitting her with Louis fulminating from the floor boards. The song was "We Shall Over Come." I did this every time I heard her screaming. Soon, I didn't hear it anymore. The music did its job. What was he going to do? Call the police that I was disturbing the peace? I laughed when I thought he might try to do that. Sometime after that, though, my car was broken - and the man came out to help me get it started. We didn't talk at all about past events - but we did talk about music - and we learned that we were both musicians - and eventually we even held a neighborhood jam session. The music was like magic. I will never ever forget this.

War is the total breakdown of communication. Music has the potential power to restore communication. This is what I think....

Thanks for being here and sharing so much!!!

Love and peace,
All Day All Night Mary Anne

[Mary Anne]

About racial slurs: I have been so disheartened about the slurs I have heard being slung in general - and particularly by members of both black and white races. I think it kills one's credibility when one uses slurs. I know that I just stop listening to that person or show when this happens.

Racism is a disease (like a cancer) that we all need to heal by checking everything we communicate and making sure that none of the words we use are purely intended to dehumanize. On TV the other day, I heard the word "white trash" several times on a national program. (What other purpose, besides dehumanizing poor whites, could these individuals be meaning?) We are all God's children - no one deserves this. I have even heard people who do it claiming that they are justified in doing so because the other race does it - which sounds like little children in need of discipline! (Tommy did it to me! So I am doing it to him!) We can't cure cancer by speading more of it, that is for sure.

Another thing we need to change is using slurs at members of our own race. Slurs are expressly intended to dehumanize.

I can't wait to hear what Maya Angelou has to say. Thanks Paul Leslie! -MAV